Inconceivable
by ChinamiMorimoto
Summary: AU. It's been a few years since the whole Tesseract/Loki mess. Since then, Tony and Steve have become a couple and gotten married. Now Steve has somehow talked Tony into parenthood. It's a major change for them and their friends and colleagues as the Avengers team becomes a family and the years go by, bringing unexpected trials on top of the usual superhero drama.
1. Chapter 1

Tony lay with his head on Steve's chest, letting the soldier run his fingers through his hair without complaint. The room was quiet save for the sounds of their breathing and heartbeats and the whitenoise hum of the airconditioning. The only light came from the reactor in Tony's chest. He grabbed Steve's hand, bringing a halt to the affectionate combing, and laced their fingers together. "If you quote me on this I may punch you with the suit on, but you are better family than I ever hoped to have."

Steve chuckled and squeezed Tony's hand. "Why do you feel the need to hide how sweet you can be?"

"I am not sweet." Tony sounded indignant—and on the verge of pouting.

"Yes you are."

"If I am, the rest of the world doesn't need to know."

"Fine." Steve unlaced his fingers from Tony's and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. They fell silent for a while. "Tony?"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever thought about being a father?"

Tony froze then rolled out of Steve's arms and sat up. "Please tell me you're joking."

"I'm completely serious." Steve sat up as well.

"There's no way. I am not parent material and I know it. Besides, kids are messy and require more of a lifestyle change than I'm willing to make—ever."

"You said the same thing about marriage."

"That's different. You're more or less indestructible and you don't touch things that look like they might kill you. Kids eat things that look like they could kill them. I've had this conversation with Pepper more than once—which is part of why she and I didn't work out."

Steve looked down, frowning. "I think you'd make a great parent."

Tony shook his head. "No."

With a sigh, Steve pulled Tony into his lap, ignoring his squirming. "Just think about it."

"I already have."

"You've only thought about the things you expect not to like." He rested his chin on Tony's shoulder. "Imagine having someone to teach about all your computers and projects who's just as impressed as I am by all of it but actually understands more than every fourth word. Someone glad to see you come home safe from a fight who wasn't in the fight. Someone who will always see you as a hero no matter what the papers say. Someone to do better for than your father did for you."

It was a long time before Tony spoke. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Since the bomb scare at the children's hospital."

"Of course." Tony sighed and let his head fall back against Steve's shoulder.

"I'd really like to have a family with you." Steve's voice was just above a whisper. He rubbed his knuckles against the stubble on Tony's jaw. "Your robots aren't a family."

"So what, though? I doubt there's an agency on earth that would let me adopt. They might let you, but I have a rather ugly and public history."

"You'll just throw money at them until they give you your way like you always do."

Tony elbowed him in the ribs.

"I'm not wrong." He kissed Tony's hair.

"Maybe not. And I suppose there are other options." Tony couldn't believe he was even considering the options. "We could have a surrogate. There are background checks for that too, but you already made the point about money. Of course we'd have to find a surrogate and decide which of us would be the biological father..."

"I nominate you. Brilliance runs in your family and the traits I was born with I wouldn't wish on anyone."

"Huh. I don't know to what extent what was done to you would be heritable. A significant amount of epigenitic rewriting must have happened, probably some genetic rewriting as well, otherwise it's hard to explain things like your metabolism. Unfortunately there aren't any good genetic samples left from before—yes, I've looked into this—almost everything in your record from the forties has degraded due to poor storage. Things like your asthma probably have less to do with genetics than with the fact that you're a male who had a low birth weight, was raised in a low-income environment, and were exposed to tobacco smoke as a kid. So who knows."

"Who knows." Steve leaned back against the headboard. "I wish we didn't have to pick. You know, I've always kind of envied those couples you see sometimes, arguing over whether their kid's nose or something is more like his or hers. Probably because I always knew I'd never have one of those arguments. Guess having a surrogate would be the next best thing to the impossible."

Tony opened his mouth to say something, stopped, and sat fully upright. "It's not impossible."

"What?"

"Jarvis?"

"Sir?"  
Tony got out of bed and walked to the opaque window, paying no mind to his lack of clothing. "Pull up all the biosciences journals I've read in the past six months."

A virtual library of glowing blue articles appeared on the window. Tony flicked through them, searching. Steve moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed and watched in confusion. Eventually, Tony came to an article that made him smile. He tapped the corner to maximize it so it filled the window from floor to ceiling then turned to face Steve who was scanning the text with his brow knit. "It's experimental, highly controversial, and ridiculously expensive, but not impossible, and therefore right up my alley."

Still reading, Steve asked. "Are you agreeing?"

"I guess I am."

"That was a much shorter conversation than I expected."

"I've probably lost my mind."

Steve got up, hugged Tony, kissed him warmly, pulled back, and brushed a thumb over his cheek. "In my experience, the things that seem the most insane tend to turn out best."

* * *

**A/N: Brand new story! I've got a few chapters typed, few more handwritten, and tons more planned out. I hope to get things posted in short order. This will eventually develop a more typically superhero-ish plot but for a while before that just enjoy the slice of life chapters.  
I love to hear from my readers, it honestly helps me write, so if you've got anything to say please say it.**


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha nearly dropped her glass. "What?"

"I for one think it a wonderful idea." Thor set down his own glass. "Why should they be denied progeny? They are both great warriors; it is right that they should have a legacy together."

Clint looked skeptical. "I second Natasha."

"I want to know how you manage to talk him into these things." Pepper sat on the back of the couch behind Clint, Happy's hand on her shoulder. "In less than two years, you went from suspended animation to dating the stubbornest man alive. Six months later you're married. Another six months and we're here. What is your secret?"

Steve shrugged.

Bruce took off his glasses and fiddled with them. "Regardless of how anyone was talked into anything and what your reasoning may be, there are still a multitude of practical issues with what you suggest. For one thing, you'd need a doctor willing and qualified to perform that kind of three-parent in vitro procedure—which, before you suggest it, I am not. You'd also need to find a woman to be that third parent."

"We've been considering all that." Tony poured himself another glass of scotch. "For the record, Bruce, you're actually better qualified than most, and you have the advantage of: we know you. I have Jarvis running a search of the world's best ob-gyns; I'll send out a few queries."

"We don't know about a mother, though," Steve added reluctantly.

Jane shrugged. "I'd be willing."

"I approve of their having a family but I'd rather not see you bear another man's child, even under such circumstances."

Jane started to argue but Tony cut in. "No, it's alright. We figured Shakespeare wouldn't let that fly, but thanks for volunteering. Pepper, stop giving me that look, we're not even going to ask. Natasha, Steve's pretty much terrified of the idea of you pregnant and hormonal and I for one don't disagree with him."

Clint muttered something which earned him a sharp kick to his ankle.

"I'll do it."

Everyone in the room turned to look at Darcy where she was standing by the windows. Half of them had forgotten she was there. She shrugged and walked toward the circle of couches. Jane studied her. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She shrugged again. "I mean"—she gestured at Steve and Tony—"you guys are cool, and I totally get that you'd rather at least sort of know whoever's carrying your kid than it be somebody random, and you're kinda out of chick friends." Steve nodded and she continued. "And, like, I think it might be good to know what it's like to be pregnant before having kids of my own—never mind that I don't have a boyfriend. Also would I get paid?"

"Yes." Tony sipped his drink.

"Bonus."

Tony and Steve exchanged a look. Steve set his down drink. "Darcy, can we talk to you in private?"

##########

"I can't believe I've agreed to this. I am not a medical doctor." Bruce scrolled through the details of the process. The whole thing bore a general resemblance to cloning, starting with the removal of the nucleus from a donor egg, then fertilizing it—but with genetic material from two sources instead of one. Of course, there were plenty of picky details. "I'm a physicist."

"You're almost as smart as I am." Tony clapped a hand on Bruce's shoulder. "I trust you."

"That worries me."

"Sir?" Jarvis interrupted. "Your husband has returned from the airport with your guest. They are waiting for you downstairs."

"Thank you, Jarvis." Tony grinned. "See, it's not like you're on your own."

Following Tony out of the room, Bruce said, "I think this is beyond the realm of expertise of most obstetricians."

"She's not most obstetricians. She's also a physiologist."

"Where do you find these women with odd combinations of expertise? You seem to know a lot of them."

"Midwest, mostly."

Downstairs, Steve watched as the young, pretty Dr. Lorain Hueniger looked around the atrium. She pulled her red corkscrew curls up into a hairclip and turned to smile at him. "You live here? I've been in much less spacious five-star hotels."

"Yes, ma'am, I live here. I'd honestly prefer a walk up in Brooklyn, but the billionaire inventor husband needs more room than that for his toys."

"I understand."

Behind her, the elevator opened and Tony strode out, followed by a somewhat anxious looking Banner.

"Doctor, glad to see you've safely escaped Texas. Why do you even live in Texas? Given your profession, I'd think you'd rather be somewhere more liberal. Never mind that." Tony shook her hand. "Lorain, right? Happy to have you here. Tony Stark, but of course you know that; I'm famous and I hired you."

Steve barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Lorain nodded. "Nice to meet you. I appreciate you having Steve and your driver meet me. And I believe we're leaving someone out."

Bruce stepped forward and held out a hand, which she took. "Bruce Banner. I'm a friend. Tony thinks I'll be helping you, but, given that I'm a physicist, I'm afraid I won't do you much good." He shot Tony a look.

"He's a physicist who's awfully good with biology." Tony moved to stand with Steve.

"Well, any extra pair of educated hands is a help." Lorain gave a confident smile. "Especially given that I was instructed not to bring any of my usual assistants."

Steve put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "We'd prefer to keep things as private and quiet as possible for as long as possible."

"Of course."

############

Later in the day, after Darcy had returned from shopping with Jane, Dr. Hueniger settled herself into the floor of the tower that had been converted into a clinic since the Chitauri incident, and started running medical diagnostics. Darcy checked out fine. Other than the obvious cardiac complications and an admonition to lay off the caffeine and alcohol, Tony checked out as well. After running the usual tests on Steve, the doctor stood a moment, contemplating the chart on her tablet. She looked him over, taking in the height, the build, the dogtags, and then sat on her stool. "Okay, everbody knows Tony is Iron Man. You're married to him, and, frankly, you're perfect. Weirdly so. You have a better resting heartrate than most Olympic athletes. Ordinarily, I'd say that's great. But given the kind of company Iron Man is known to keep, and the fact that you're wanting to have a child, I feel obligated to ask who and what you are."

Steve hesitated. "I'm just a soldier, ma'am."

She set her tablet aside. "For the sake of your potential offspring, I suggest you tell me the truth."

He sighed, leaned his elbows on his knees, ran a hand through his hair, and was quiet.

"The field I work in involves a high degree of confidentiality. I'm privy to a lot of people's—mostly rich women's—secrets and I won't tell any of them. No why knows why I'm in New York or who I'm working for. Few people even know where I am. I understand and respect your preference for secrecy, but this matters. I could start guessing—I'm not above turning to wikipedia—but it would be better if you told me."

"I, uh"—he hesitated—"I'm Captain America..."

"I think the hopes and dreams of half my interns were just crushed." Lorain stood.

"Huh?"

"You're pretty popular among college-aged girls. Now then, what does it mean to me as a doctor that you're the Star Spangled Man—other than what my chart tells me?"

He started listing and she started typing. Eventually, he ran out of things to list. "Uh, I can't get drunk. I've tried."

"Sounds convenient and/or frustrating."

"Yeah. That's all I can think of, but I can ask if Tony can get you access to part of my file."

"I'd appreciate that. And I'll be doing my blood work. As long as nothing really weird pops up though, I'd say everything's good."


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next week, there was much file reading and paperwork, Tony ran a few statistical analysis to determine how many fertilized eggs ought to result in one viable embryo, Bruce made friends with Lorain while being her extra pair of hands, various other preparations were made, and a procedure was done that left Darcy downing several Advil and watching Disney movies for the rest of the day. After that, there was nothing left to do but get on with things. Sitting in the tower clinic, Steve put a hand on Darcy's shoulder. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Come on, how much of a bitch move would it be for me to back out now?" She smiled but still looked nervous. "If it turns out I regret this, I've only got to put up with it for nine months. I've put up with bad roommates longer than that. You guys are stuck with this decision for eighteen years, minimum."

"When you put it that way—" Tony was cut off by Dr. Hueniger walking up to them with a hospital gown draped over her arm and a pair of empty plastic vials in her hands.

She held the gown out to Darcy. "You're going to need to put that on in a minute. And you two"—she handed each of the men a vial—"go have fun but be neat about it."

Steve blushed and he and Tony left the room. Bruce, who sat calibrating a piece of equipment, was torn between snickering—they were married, for goodness' sake—and being extremely uncomfortable. Darcy shook her head and said to Lorain, "I don't think I've ever seen a guy look less excited to have an excuse to get off," then slipped off to change.

Once Tony and Steve returned—the former looking smug, the latter still embarrassed—there was some very impressive mucking about with pipettes and syringes and microscopes, then all the males were evicted from the clinic. Bruce excused himself to his own little corner of R and D, and the familiar haven of his pet projects. Steve and Tony went up to the top of the tower where their apartment and the rest of the team's quarters were situated and fell together onto a couch. Tony kicked off his sneakers and lay across the couch with his head on Steve's thigh. "I am officially having second thoughts."

"Little late for that." Steve ran a hand through Tony's hair and bent to kiss him.

###########

A fortnight later, Darcy was officially proclaimed to be pregnant. The entire team—plus friends—was at the tower at the time, so a spontaneous party erupted. Steve felt lightheaded. Thor clapped him on the shoulder. "I congratulate you my friend! This is indeed cause for celebration."

"Thank you." Steve barely registered the demigod pressing a mug into his hand. He sipped it without tasting anything but the bite of the alcohol.

Across the room, Darcy leaned against the bar with a dazed expression and a glass of apple juice. Jane came up and hugged her, followed by Pepper. "Congratulations!"

"It's not my baby."

"Maybe not." Pepper tucked a bit of Darcy's hair behind her ear. "But you _are_ the mother."

"I guess."

"Yes." Jane hugged her again and put a hand on her as of yet wholly unremarkable tummy. "This is a big deal for you, too, and we're here for you. We girls have to stick together and deal with girl stuff, especially with all these crazy men around. Right, Natasha?"

Six feet away, Natasha set her vodka down. "Don't drag me into your feminine solidarity bullshit." Despite her words, she halfway grinned.

Tony downed another glass of scotch and kissed his husband. "We're having a baby."

"I know."

"I can't believe it." The genius was grinning like a fool.

"Me neither." Steve chuckled.

Clint broke into their conversation from his perch on the counter of the bar. "Does Fury know about this?"

Steve looked to Tony, who turned over his shoulder to address the archer without removing his hands from the soldier's waist. "No, nor does he need to."

Clint opened his mouth but Tony cut him off. "Do you really think I give a fuck what S.H.I.E.L.D. thinks right now? Shut up and drink."

With a shrug, Clint did as told.

"Hey, ladies." Tony pulled out his wallet and held out a very shiny credit card. "Why don't you go do some preemptive shopping?"

There were no objections, except from Natasha as she was dragged to the elevator, but given that no one was drop kicked, her dissent was mostly for show.

* * *

**A/N: I gotta say, if Tony Stark hands you a credit card, you take it and spend money, you don't argue.  
Anyway, as always, reviews are appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dr. Heuniger went back to Texas for a few weeks then returned to New York for Darcy's first ultrasound. As he and Tony watched the screen, Steve fiddled with his wedding ring. The black and grey blobs meant next to nothing to him yet he watched intently along with his husband, Darcy, and the doctor. No one said anything for what felt like an eternity. Lorain smiled. "Huh, well would you look at that."

"What?" the other three people in the room asked in unison.

"Real life has decided it doesn't like your statistics, Tony. There's one baby"—she pointed at a blob on the screen—"and there is another."

Steve took a breath. "Twins."

Lorain nodded. "Twins."

#####

Weeks passed. Darcy started to show. Living at the tower full time with Tony and Steve—with the other Avengers sometimes there, sometimes worlds away, and Pepper and Happy, various S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents, and Jane sporadically in and out—Darcy found herself doted on almost constantly. Tony had turned into a health food nut when it came to her, but, since everything was on his dime and it was his kids she was eating for, she decided she didn't mind. She and Steve had taken to watching movies together when they both had time. They'd gotten him caught up on James Bond with many jokes at Clint and Natasha's expense.

He'd lay his hand on her belly as they watched and just grin. She enjoyed how glad he was, which made her feel that she was doing the world good. She couldn't save a city or beat up superhuman psychopaths, but she could do something incredible for those who did.

One evening after a movie marathon with Darcy, Steve walked into the master bathroom just as Tony stepped out of the shower and hugged him. "We need to pick out names."

Tony shrugged and wrapped his arms around Steve's chest. "We have a few months."

Steve stepped away, handed Tony a towel and started to strip off his own clothes in order to shower. "Yeah, but we already know their genders and we could end up very busy at any given moment so we might as well work out names sooner rather than later."

"Alright." Tony scrubbed at his hair with a second towel. "Any ideas?"

"I have a request." Steve was quiet.

"Yeah?"

"Can we name the boy James?"

"Awe, I was thinking a little Tony Jr. would be nice."

"I'm serious."

"Okay, okay, I'm fine with James, but why?"

"Bucky." Steve got in the shower. "James Buchanan Barnes."

Tony could have kicked himself. He leaned against the counter. "Right. Of course. Yeah. James is—James is a good name. He can be James..."

"Thank you."

Through the frosted glass of the shower, Tony watched the soldier wash, then went to get dressed.

The next day over breakfast, Steve told Darcy about having chosen a name.

"Oh that's sweet." Darcy put a hand on her tummy. "What about his sister?"

"We haven't decided yet." Tony took a bite of toast. "Steve just wanted to—" Tony was interrupted by his phone ringing. He looked at it and frowned. "What the hell does S.H.I.E.L.D. want with me at eight in the morning?"

He answered it and his frown deepened. He tapped Steve's arm and they left the room. Steve muttered a hurried, "We'll be back."

Darcy bit her lip. "Jarvis? What's going on?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is requesting the Avengers' assistance. I'm afraid that's all I know."

She looked up at the ceiling. "Can't you like hack into their system or something and find out?"

"Not without guidance from Master Stark or someone else with sufficient technical knowledge. My apologies, Miss."

"Fine. Just turn on the news." Hugging her belly protectively, Darcy moved to the couch. Boston. Fire. Ugly, rampaging beasts. Gaping holes in the pavement. There was Clint. Bleeding. Minutes passed. The news crews couldn't keep track of what was going on. There was Tony in his suit. Where was Steve? Was that thing Dr. Banner? No, wrong color. There was Tony again. _That_ was Banner. How long had she been watching? Darcy shook herself. "Jarvis, turn off the TV and don't let me turn it back on until Steve and Tony get back."

"Yes, Miss."

Darcy stared at her belly. "You poor babies..."

############

Sometime around midnight, Natasha let herself into the tower and went to find Darcy. She was curled up in the corner of her bed. Her head snapped up at the sound of the door opening. "Natasha!"

"Shhsh, shhsh. It's okay, everybody's okay. Well, except for Clint; he needs stitches and won't let the medics anywhere near him." Natasha sat on the bed next to Darcy.

"What happened?"

"Just some recombinant genetic experimentation gone horribly wrong. It happens." She squeezed Darcy's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I don't—" She shook her head. "How can they be parents when things like this happen?"

Natasha pressed her lips into a thin line. "I don't know, but I'll tell you what I do know. I grew up without any parents and that was, well, bad, so I understand your concern. Steve and Tony are good people and they will do the best they can. They've never not come home."

"But what if one day they don't?"

"Unfortunately there's no guarantee that won't happen, but if it does"—she put a hand on Darcy's belly—"these kids are going to have some of the most incredible badasses the universe has ever seen there for them. Including you."

Darcy swallowed and nodded. "Okay."

It was hours before the masters of the house returned. Tony was rather battered. Steve had some bruises and scrapes that already looked a week old and would likely be gone the next day. They both looked exhausted. Steve went to Darcy, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." She sipped at the mug of tea she was holding. "But what are you gonna do when S.H.I.E.L.D. calls and you've got little kids? You can't just leave them with Jarvis to watch TV, scared for their dads' lives."

Steve didn't know what to say. Poking gingerly at a nasty bruise on his arm, Tony shrugged. "I guess S.H.I.E.L.D. will just have to be content with only having access to one of us at a time for a few years. Unless Pepper volunteers to be emergency babysitter or something. Or you do."

Darcy shook her head. "I'm going back to school in the midwest and I'm going into politics. I'm always gonna care about your kids but I'm not sticking around like that; they're not really mine."

"That's what I thought. Good that you have plans."

Steve put an arm around Tony and looked to Darcy. "We'll figure things out. Now though we should all go to bed. I don't want to know what time it is."

#########

Tony was bruised enough that he didn't do much for the next couple days but sit with a tablet or stand in front of one window or another with a database of names called up in front of him. He flicked an icon on the gym window. "How about a feminine form of your name? Is there even a feminine form of your name?"

Steve paused in pummeling a punching bag. "Dunno."

"Jarvis?" The contents of the screen changed. "Thank you. Oh, nope. Stephanie is a no go."

The punching bag burst. They went through punching bags like most households went through soda. Steve hung another bag without removing the remains of the last one. "Why."

"I've slept with too many Stephanies."

Steve glanced at the window between punches. "What about Stefania? Actually no, I don't like saying that one. What about your name, Anthony?"

"Every feminine form of my name sounds exactly like my name and they all sound really Italian, even the French ones." He turned away from the window. "I really need to invent you an indestructible punching bag—why are you even doing this right now?"

"Stress relief." A tear formed on the bag.

"Why don't we just screw? Less destructive and more fun for both of us."

"You"—the chains supporting the bag groaned—"have enough bruises."

"Oh, come on, I am not that fragile."

The bag tore itself away from its chains. "Tony, names."

"Alright. What's your mom's name?"

"Sarah. Too common?"

"Yeah. Also kind of Jewish."

"My family's Jewish."

"You're Christmas tree Jewish and I'm atheist."

"Plenty of girls who aren't Jewish are named Sarah but we clearly aren't going with it so what about your mother's name?"

"We know a Maria."

"Right, that could get confusing." Steve sat on the nearest horizontal surface and started unwrapping his knuckles. "Well, I'm out of ideas."

Tony sat next to him. "Why is this so hard?"

"Hey fellas." Darcy came in and sat on a weightlifting bench.

"What are you eating?" Tony eyed the plate she was carrying with trepidation.

"Pickles with cayenne pepper and Nutella. It's good. Anyway, how's the whole name thing going?"

"Not well." Steve stood to discard the tattered punching bag remains.

"I'd rather be doing differential calculus with an abacus."

Darcy grinned and ate a chunk of melon. "That sounds like something you'd do just for the hell of it."

"You have a point." Tony slid down to his knees in front of her and gently rested his forehead against her belly, eyes closed.

Long past finding such behavior awkward, Darcy sucked some Nutella off her finger. "What? Are you trying to mind-meld with them?"

"Is he trying to what?"

She pointed at Steve with a pickle. "I am making you _Star Trek_ binge, ASAP." She returned her attention to Tony. "Have you tried any compound names? My great aunt has like a million kids and when she got to number four she started going with compound names because she was out of single names she liked."

Tony looked up. "That could work."

He stood, returned to his window, and flicked to a new screen. Steve picked up a book of baby names that had been left discarded on the water cooler and flipped through it. "What do you think of Ana-Maria?"

Tony turned. "What?"

"Ana-Maria." Steve held the book up, open to a page about halfway through. "Sounds a bit like your name, it's got your mother's name in it, and we can call her Ana to avoid confusion with Agent Hill."

"You know"—Tony crossed his arms—"I kinda like it."

Darcy winced and put a hand to her ribs. "If punching my pancreas is a sign of approval, I think she likes it too. Unless that was James. I don't know."

Steve chuckled. "Well, I guess we're decided. So, Tony, now about middle names."

Tony groaned.

"We also have decisions to make about their last names."

"Crap. I hadn't thought about that."

"I'm gonna go ahead and save you guys an argument: hyphenate. And because a hard K doesn't transition well into anything, Rogers-Stark is probably your best bet."

Steve set the book down. "We can either agree with her or argue about it for three days."

Tony shrugged. "Rogers-Stark sounds good to me."

"Great." Darcy pulled herself to her feet. "Well, I'm gonna go before the middle names debate starts up."

######

"Not happening."

Steve followed Tony into their bedroom. They'd been having the argument since the previous day, just as Darcy predicted. "If Ana's middle name come's from my father's name, it makes sense for James's to be Howard."

"I have no desire to pay homage to my father. How many times have I got to say that?"

"Despite his many flaws, your father was a good man. The same happens to be true of you."

"Do not compare me to him."

"You're actually a lot like him." Tony moved to jab a finger at his husband in argument but Steve caught his hand and kissed his knuckles. "You've spent, what, twenty-something years brooding on everything you blame him for. I completely believe you that he was a rotten father, but I highly doubt he meant to be. By my reckoning, the last time I saw Howard Stark was about four years ago, when he wasn't much older than me, and he—like you—was an arrogant jackass, but he—also like you—was brilliant enough to get away with that. I never had any kind of heart-to-heart with him, but I don't think he ever planned on settling down or getting married or _ever_ being a parent. You can hardly imagine how much of a surprise it was for me when I read the file from Fury when I woke up and found out he'd had a son. Tell you the truth, it would have been less of a shock for me to have woken up and been told he was sleeping with a man. Once I met you, though, any disbelief couldn't stick around because it's so damn obvious you're related. I don't mean that you're the same but you are a lot alike and you can't deny that. For everything he ever did wrong, he was your father and he was my friend."

Tony stood still, mouth open to utter a retort that never came. He pulled his hand out of Steve's fist, walked to their dresser, and took off his watch and shoes. "Your friend, huh?"

"Most of the time I wanted to punch him in the mouth, but he was one of the few people I've ever counted as a friend and I trusted him with my life."

Tony stripped off his shirt and leaned on the dresser, examining himself in the mirror with an odd spot of light reflected on his shoulder from the reactor."

"When's the last time you tried to think of something nice about your father?"

"I have no idea."

Steve wrapped an arm around Tony's waist, lifted him, and sat on the bed with him in his lap. He kissed behind Tony's ear. "Why don't you try?"

"Steve..."

"I want you to try."

"I need to shave."

"Shave tomorrow." Steve brushed a thumb across the stubble at Tony's cheek.

"You're not going to let me go, are you?"

"Not until you tell me some good things about your father."

Tony sighed then was quiet a long time. "Does 'he's where I get most of my devilishly good looks from' count?"

"It's a start, but can you come up with something less—_shallow_?"

"Uhg." Tony leaned his head back against Steve's shoulder. "Well, he formulated vibranium, which saved my life when this thing"—he tapped on the reactor casing—"was trying to turn my blood to battery acid _and_ saves your ass on a regular basis."

"Mhm." Steve traced a knuckle along the edge of the reactor.

"And, actually, he contributed a lot to Project Rebirth,without which you probably would have died around the time I was born. So I owe him my marriage..." Tony sighed. "I'd like to just mention that that means I can now indirectly blame him for any and all marital problems we have—including this conversation—but your point is made."

"So, James Howard it is?"

"James Howard it is. Can I go shave now?"

Steve chuckled and kissed Tony's cheek. "What if I don't want you to?"

Tony made a sound low in his throat. "You're going to have to choose between preventing me from shaving and your preference for not fucking when I'm battered."

"Tough choice." Steve lay back, taking his billionaire with him, then let him go. "Go shave."

"You are a cruel man." Half sulking, half laughing, Tony got up off the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Tony had healed, there was really only one thing he and Steve were particularly disagreeing about when it came to their unborn children and it wasn't to do with painting the nursery.

"I don't see why it's necessary."

Tony sighed. "I know you don't. But things have changed since the '40s."

"I realize that, but I don't see how anything could have changed that would matter with regards to _that_."

"But they have."

"How?" Steve crossed his arms.

"AIDS. Circumcised males are less likely to contract sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV which causes AIDS. There are other reasons but that is a big one, especially since you know as well as I do that being a bit of a tramp runs in my family."

Steve stared at him. "Are you really thinking about things like that before the kid is even born?"

"Yes, I am. Look, pretty much every boy born in the United States for the past several decades, myself included, as you know, is circumcised."

Clint entered the room, paused, then looked from Tony to Steve and back. "I'll come back later." He left, barely noticed.

"I don't like the idea of it."

"Why?" Tony was starting to get frustrated.

"I was in World War II, remember?"

"Of course I remember but what does that—oh, right. Nazis would round guys up. I didn't think the Allies knew about that until after the war."

"Not officially, but men on the ground knew more than they were supposed to."

"Okay, I get it, it's a protective thing in your mind, but the reality now is that the opposite is safer, okay? You can trust me or I can pull up studies for you to read."

Steve scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I trust you."

"Good." Tony leaned up on tiptoe to kiss his husband's cheek, then stepped back. "Clint? You still out there?"

The archer reappeared in the doorway. "I really did not ever need to hear any of that conversation. Anyway, I've been told to tell you to call Fury. I think he's found out about all this."

"Fury can bite me."

Steve put a warning hand on his husband's shoulder. "Tony..."

Clint shrugged. "Tell him that yourself."

#######

Fury glowered from the workshop window which was currently serving as a video screen. "When exactly were you planning on informing me of your little eugenics experiment?"

"Possibly never." Tony was leaning against a work bench, his arms crossed. "Don't think it's any of your business."

"And it's not an experiment," Steve added. "It's our family."

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Of course not, we're first time parents," Tony said flippantly.

"You're creating a liability for yourselves, thus your team and, by extension, the entire organization and everyone we protect. You're putting thousands of people in danger."

"By having kids? Sir, I think you're blowing things out of proportion. But if you're really that concerned"—Steve glanced at Tony—"we could always resign."

A muscle in Fury's jaw twitched.

"Might as well get over yourself because there's nothing you can do about it. It's too late. In less than three months, we'll have children." Tony pushed off from the bench and walked toward Fury's image on the window. "Steve is right. We don't _have_ to work for you. We're having these kids, and I don't think you can even begin to understand what that means to us, so I must oh-so-respectfully ask you to _butt out_."

"This subject is not closed." Fury reached out of frame and the video feed went dead.

Steve let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"What is his problem?" Tony kicked the nearest waste paper basket. "The fucking tabloids took our marriage better than he did."

"Tony, calm down."

"How can you expect me to calm down?" Tony shouted.

"Because you're right. There's nothing Fury can do." Steve walked over to Tony and hugged him. "It doesn't matter. Since when do you care what Fury thinks, anyway? Speaking of tabloids, though..."

"I'll hold a press conference after they're born." He sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve's collar bone. "Pepper would make me do it anyway, like she did when we got married."

Steve kissed Tony's hair. "Less than three months."

"This is really happening."

"Sure is."

"I need coffee and/or alcohol, and a car to work on." Tony broke away and wandered to the stairs. "Why don't I have a coffee maker down here?"

Steve followed. "No idea. But I just had a thought."

"Yeah?"

"We have less than three months to figure out how to baby-proof the tower."

Tony stopped in the middle of the flight of stairs and cursed. "I knew there was something missing."

"The nursery's fine. So's most of that floor except maybe for Natasha's room, but—"

"I'm actually going to have to start locking the bar, aren't I?"

"Oh yeah."

#########

"Jane?" Darcy was lounging limply on a sofa while Tony and Steve and everyone they had talked or bribed into helping them ran around the tower, child-proofing everything they could figure out how to child-proof.

"Yeah?"

"Being pregnant sucks."

"You won't be pregnant much longer."

"I miss coffee. And my feet. And skinny jeans. Why did I volunteer for this?"

"I don't know."

Steve appeared in the room. "Hey, Jane. Darcy, you doing okay?"

"Other than back pain, swollen feet, and lack of bladder control, I'm _great_." She rolled her eyes. "You better spoil these kids rotten."

"I think Tony plans to."

"Good."

"Anyway, Steve, what's up?" Jane resumed transferring bottles from under the bar to the lockable cabinet on the wall behind it. The bottles on the counter could stay where they were for now.

"Dr. Hueniger's flight just got in a few minutes ago. She'll be staying here until the twins are born."

"Hopefully, that won't be long." "Darcy winced and rubbed at her side. By now, when the twins kicked, they kicked hard despite the lack of room.

"You're not due yet for another month," Steve said pointedly. "And Jane, did Tony talk to you?"

"Yes, he did. I'm rather flattered, and I'd be glad to be your children's Godmother. Though I'm a bit surprised you'd want Thor for a Godfather."

"Who else would they want, honestly?" Darcy managed to sit up with a fair amount of cursing.

Steve shrugged. "That's basically what it came down to."

"Steve, help me up. I need to pee."

"Yes, ma'am."


	6. Chapter 6

Tony was used to being awake at three in the morning. He was also relatively used to women screaming at him. He was even pretty used to being faced with unpleasant bodily fluids while women were screaming. So, naturally, he had no clue what he was doing.

Darcy leaned heavily against her pillows, panting. "I hate you both."

"That's just fine." Steve thought he might pass out. He couldn't even feel Darcy's pregnancy-reinforced, tough as claws nails digging into his arm, even though most men would have been bleeding by now.

"You're doing great, Darcy." Dr. Hueniger was by far the calmest person in the room.

Darcy curled forward again, eyes shut tight, screaming and clutching at Steve's arm before returning to her pillows. "You fucking owe me."

"You can punch me later, okay? And Tony'll buy you wine."

"Okay."

What felt like an eternity later, Darcy went to bed after swearing she'd better get brass knuckles whenever she got around to punching Steve so it would actually leave a mark, leaving Tony and Steve standing dazed in the hallway outside the nursery, each with an infant in their arms. Steve didn't think he'd ever been more afraid of anything than the pink-bundled little person he was holding. She was red-faced, covered in fine fuzz, and she was tiny. She had a little bit of soft, curly black hair and not-yet-focused dark blue eyes. She gurgled softly, almost a mewl. Steve smiled. "Hi, Ana." He glanced at Tony. "She looks like you."

"If you say so."

There was no doubt James looked like Steve. Just as tiny as his sister but blond and with much lighter eyes.

"We should put them to bed."

Tony nodded and they went into the yellow-painted nursery. Tony lay James in his crib, but Steve hesitated.

"Can—can you take her? I don't trust myself not to hurt her."

"You won't hurt her."

"Tony, please."

"Alright." Tony took his daughter from his husband's arms and lay her down. Turning back around, he took Steve's hands in his own. "You're shaking."

"They're so small, fragile..."

"Steve, look at me." Tony waited until Steve had done as told before he continued. "You know I really don't do this whole mushy hand-holding comfort-fest thing, but I'm gonna try. These are your kids. You were just fine holding her. You are very strong, but you know how to control it. You are not going to hurt them, I promise. Okay?"

Steve nodded. "Okay."


	7. From the Tabloids

Excerpted from _The Enquirer_

March, 2015

**HE IS IRON DAD**

Multi-billionaire turned superhero, Tony Stark has announced that he and his husband of just over a year, Steve Rogers, have welcomed two new additions to their family. Both children were born to surrogate mothers on March 6th. Stark is the biological father of baby Ana-Marie Rogers-Stark, while her brother James Rogers-Stark is the biological child of their other father.

"Were I religious, I'd probably say we've been blessed. As things are, I'll leave that sentiment to Steve," Stark said to press last week.

Given his playboy past, it comes as a surprise that Stark would take the plunge into parenthood, especially since nine months ago he'd tied the knot only half a year before, but he seems thrilled to be a father. He acknowledged having kept it a secret that he and his husband were planning a family, but didn't provide any details about the past months.

"It would be great if the paparazzi and monsters could both back off," he joked, "because I don't plan on leaving home again for a while."

* * *

**A/N: Just for the record, "Ana" is pronounced with the some sound as in Anthony, not an ah sound like in father. Felt the need to clear that up.**


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey." Pepper grinned as she nudged the door to the nursery open. "The two of you look remarkably not sleep deprived for the parents of three month olds."

"Yeah, well, I'm good at not sleeping for days and turns out Cap can go a week with no sleep and be fine."

"As long as I eat. A lot." Steve was tipped back in a rocking chair, his boots propped on the edge of one of the cribs, holding James in his lap, feeding him from a bottle,

"You always eat a lot," Tony pointed out. He was holding Ana, "So, Pep, how was the conference in London?"

"Uneventful." She let Tony hand Ana to her. "Hullo, beautiful. Oh you look just like you daddy." She paused and glanced at Tony. "Or are you Papa?"

"He's Papa because he thinks 'Daddy' fits me better." Steve chuckled and set aside the empty bottle. "James looks like Daddy." His son made a happy little squawk. "Yeah, I'm talking about you."

Pepper blinked, momentarily ignoring Ana grabbing at he necklace. "They recognize their names?"

"Yup." Tony grinned. "Ana?"

Ana tried to look around at Tony's voice and made a small sound. Pepper's eyebrows knit and she brushed a curl from Ana's forehead. "Aren't they kind of young for that?"

"Yup." Steve stood and lay James in his crib. "Please go to sleep." The baby gurgled. "I think he's mocking me."

"Probably." Tony took Ana from Pepper and lay her down as well. After turning the light off and setting some soft music playing, the adults left the room.

"I notice a lack of baby monitors."

Tony rolled his eyes. "We have Jarvis."

"Besides," Steve added, "people got on fine for centuries with no such thing. Before I woke up, I don't think I ever even heard the phrase 'baby monitor.'"

Pepper crossed her arms as they walked. "They were invented in the '30s."

"Doesn't mean anybody used 'em."

"Fair enough. Tony, what do you want for your birthday?"

"This." Tony smacked Steve's ass.

Steve jumped. "Hey!"

Pepper barely repressed a snicker. "How about something I can actually buy before your party Friday?"

"Oh, you know, something in a bottle, the usual. Nobody's coming to my party for me, anyway."

"You're right about that. We all want to see the kiddos. You haven't let anybody up past the R and D floors since they were born. Natasha actually stayed with me a few days because she couldn't get to her rooms here." She shoved his shoulder. "But I can get you something."

##########

"Happy birthday. This is from me. Darcy told me to give this to you. Neither one of them is booze."

Tony took the packages from Jane and shook his head. "Combo breaker."

"I know Thor brought you mead." Jane glanced across the room to where the Asgardian was chortling while Ana wound her tiny fists into his hair.

"I've also gotten vodka and several bottles of brandy and whiskey."

"Figures. Vodka from Tasha?"

"Of course."

On the other side of the room, Natasha shrugged and shook her head. "Alright, Steve, you've proved me wrong. I don't mind kids." James cooed in her arms, and she smiled. "Hi there. Here, let's let your Daddy have you."

Thor passed Ana to a beaming Pepper. Clint and Happy exchanged a look that Tony caught. He inserted himself between them, an arm around each of their necks. "C'mon, fellas, it's not that bad."

"Says the married billionaire." Clint snorted derisively. "I'm not even sure if I'm single."

"Valid point." Tony moved away. "Bruce, join the fun."

"I'm fine over here with my drink." He smiled thinly.

Pepper handed Tony his son.

There was a tapping on the glass doors out to the balcony. Everyone looked around and froze. Natasha and Clint both drew weapons. Steve turned so that his body was between Ana and the figure outside. Tony handed James to his godmother and stepped to face Loki through the glass.

In a green button down and black slacks, Loki looked bizarrely normal but that was less than comforting. He had a bag slung over his shoulder. Tony glared. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Loki shrugged and indicated that he couldn't hear through the glass. With Thor and Natasha a step behind him, Tony went outside. "I said, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'd heard that my brother had been made a godfather as you had somehow found a way to have children despite sharing the same sex as your spouse. I thought I'd pay my respects and offer my sincere congratulations." He set his bag on the flagstone in front of him and held his hands out palms up. "I am unarmed and"—he tugged up one of his sleeves to reveal a gold birdcage chain bracelet set with black stones—"I have been outfitted with a pair of these lovely little trinkets which will do unspeakable things to me should I attempt any magic. I actually don't know what it will do but I've been assured it's most horrid. I'd honestly rather not test it. Especially given current company." He eyed Bruce through the window.

"What's in the bag?" Tony's voice was sharp.

"Gifts for the children. I was under the impression that this world shared the Asgardian custom of commemorating births with presents."

Tony cast a glance at Thor. "You people have baby showers?"

"Yes, though they are more boisterous than yours."

"Huh." Tony returned his attention to the other brother. "Get out of here."

"I can't. No magic means no way back until midnight, when I'll be brought back whether I want to or not." He took in Tony's icy stare and the pistol Natasha had trained on his head and sighed. "I swear I mean you no harm."

"Do you have any idea how many people you killed last time you were here?"

"I was not myself. The tesseract brings out the worst in whoever seeks to control it and I admit, in me, it found plenty to work with."

Natasha snatched the bag from the floor and rifled through it as Loki continued.

"I'm rather fond of children. In many ways I envy them. And, as for various reasons it is exceedingly unlikely I will ever be graced with children of my own, I envy you. Regardless of any other attitudes I may have toward you and your comrades, I respect you and I bear no malice toward your nurslings."

"I actually believe him." Natasha held up the bag. "And it's just toys and ridiculously fancy blankets."

"My brother my be flawed but, were it my child, I'd not deny him the opportunity to meet the babe."

Tony looked between the two of them, aware of Steve's eyes on him on the other side of the window; he wouldn't be surprised if the soldier could tell what was being said. "In case you've both forgotten, this man is a raving psychopath."

"In plenty of people's books so am I but you let me carry your kids around with a loaded gun strapped to my thigh."

Loki arched one eyebrow but said nothing.

Tony endured a mental battle with himself then opened the door. Steve gaped at him. "You're letting him in?"

"Clint, if he so much as twitches in a suspicious way I want an arrow through his skull. If that happens, Steve, you may punch me through the wall."

Thor put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I understand your concern but my brother is not here in aggression."

Steve cuddled his tiny daughter to his chest and she gurgled comfortably. The barest hint of a smile tugged at Loki's lips. "Such a good father." He held out his arms. "May I?"

Clint knocked an arrow. Steve shifted how he was holding Ana to give himself a free hand and poked the raven-haired Jotun just above the collarbone hard enough to bruise. "You hurt her and there with not be enough of you left for a funeral."

With that, he carefully handed Ana over. Loki settled the infant in the crook of his arm and smiled down at her warmly. "Hello, little one."

She made a cooing sound, grabbed his hair, and yanked. He winced. "Ow."

Thor chuckled. "She does that to me as well."

With tenderness no one expected from him, Loki disengaged Ana's fist and tucked his hair back behind his ear. He glanced at Tony. "She looks like you."

"Everyone keeps saying that." Tony frowned. The only resemblance he saw between himself and his daughter was their hair color.

"It's true." Loki handed the girl back to Steve and took the other twin from a rather reluctant Jane. "And this one looks like the soldier." He gently brushed the honey colored hair from Jame's brow and let the child grab and mouth at his finger. "Incredible how these things work."

Tony and Steve shared a look. Tony picked up the bag that Natasha had dropped at the edge of the couch. There were carved wooden blocks and figures of animals, some stuffed toys, and two very fancy, soft, embroidered blankets, one red, one blue.

Afternoon turned to evening. Pepper and Happy went home. Evening turned to night. Steve and Tony took their children to put them to bed. Steve turned out the light, shut the door, and grabbed his husband by the front of his shirt. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Look, Steve, I don't like him being here, either, but I didn't think it would be a good idea to refuse and piss him off. Everything is fine so far and in four hours he'll be gone."

Steve let go of Tony's shirt. "This is going to be a long four hours."

"I know."

When they returned to the living room, Loki was sitting on one of the couches with Clint pressing a knife to his throat. He followed Tony and Steve with his eyes. "I didn't do anything."

"Hey, I was told if you even twitched."

Loki sighed as dramatically as he could without moving.

"Let him go, I don't want blood on my white sofa." Tony sat across from Loki as Clint stepped back. "What are you actually doing here?"

"I've already told you."

"You expect us to believe you?" Steve crossed his arms. He noticed Banner wasn't in the room, probably having retreated to his sanctuary in the R and D floors.

"Yes, actually, I do. I've no ulterior motive. We've been through this."

"Sorry, but I'm having trouble buying that." Tony leaned on his knees.

"Do you remember offering me a drink? Because you did, last time I was in town, that is, and it never happened."

"Not happening now, either."

"It was worth asking." Loki looked at his brother. "I notice you didn't lift a finger while I was being held at knife point."

Thor shrugged. "I did not feel it was my place."

Loki sighed again and sank back into the couch cushions. "Thor knows this, but do the rest of you realize that I am, in fact, in jail? I am well accommodated but a prisoner nonetheless. Can you fault me for wanting an excuse to get out for a while? A change of scenery, if nothing more. My brother being made a godfather served as an excuse."

Steve and Tony shared a look. Tony leaned back. "You better not make a habit of randomly popping up."

"We'll have to see how things turn out." Loki glanced at the clock. "So, how are we going to while away the next three and a half hours?"

Thor made a vague gesture. "Might I suggest a game of cards? Brother, you are the master of deceit and Tony is quite skilled as well."

"Okay." Natasha crossed her arms. "I've gotta see this."

Several hands of poker later, Loki leaned back in his chair at the table. "Collectively you now owe me, what? Five million dollars? At least four of which are Tony's. I don't need the money, so you can keep it." He glanced at the clock. "And I'm gone."

In an instant, he vanished. Seconds later, Jarvis piped up. "Sirs, the twins need you."

As one, Tony and Steve rose.


	9. Chapter 9

Steve couldn't help but smile at the sight of his husband sitting on the floor with their five year old children in his lap, playing videogames. Jame's hair had darkened since he was a baby but he still looked like Steve. Ana, with her wavy, ebony hair and dark eyes, was a little girl clone of Tony. Steve cleared his throat. The kids looked around and then ran to grab onto his legs. He scooped them up into his arms. Tony paused the game and stood. "Hey, handsome. What's up?"

"Been on the phone with Fury."

Tony closed his eyes.

"Don't worry, nothing important. I thought you were looking at schools."

"Well I was. But then James had me at Nerf-gun-point, insisting we play Mario and I couldn't say no."

Steve quirked an eyebrow. "Nerf gun?"

"Uncle Clint gave it to me. He says Papa is good for target practice cause of his reactor." James pointed at the triangle of light glowing through his father's shirt.

"Let's make it a rule that if Uncle Clint or Aunt Natasha ever give you anything, you show it to me or Papa before pointing it at anyone, okay?"

The five year olds gave each other a very serious look before agreeing.

"Good." Steve kissed each of his kids on the head before putting them down. "Tony, schools."

"You know, has it occurred to you that next month is your one-hundredth birthday?"

Steve blinked dumbly at his husband. "If you're trying to distract me, it's working."

Tony shrugged. "Just making an observation."

Ana crossed her arms and frowned up at her fathers. "Daddy can't be a hundred. A hundred is old."

James crossed his arms and nodded in agreement with his sister's logic.

Tony knelt down. "Alright kiddoes, what year is it?"

The twins answered as one. "Twenty-twenty."

"And what's Daddy's birthday?"

Ana scrunched up her forehead, clearly not seeing the point of the exercise. "July fourth."

"Right. He was born July fourth, nineteen-twenty. Now what's two thousand and twenty minus one thousand nine hundred and twenty?"

"A hundred." James sounded bored.

"So if Daddy was born a hundred years ago, how old is he on his birthday this year?"

The twins looked at each other. "A hundred."

Ana looked up at Steve. "Why aren't you old?"

"That's a long story, Princess." Steve lowered himself to his knees. "One of these days I'll tell you the whole thing but for now how about we just say I got paused."

Ana glanced at her brother. "Like a game?"

"Yeah. Like a game. And I was paused for a long time. So that's why I'm not old."

James shrugged. "Okay."

"Now you two go play while your Papa and I work on finding you a school."

The twins grinned, "Okay," and ran to snatch up the controllers of the decades-old Nintendo Tony had rebuilt with them the year before.

Steve and Tony settled in on the couch to sift through schools. Within a few hours, they'd narrowed it down to five. By the end of the week, after visiting every school on their list, it was down to one. Come fall, the twins would be enrolled in the Calhoun School. But first, there was the matter of Steve's birthday.

"C'mon Captain." Natasha poked him in the ribs. "Tony's right, this is a big deal. It's not every day a guy hits the triple digits." Without moving to look, she pulled the Nerf gun from her hip and sent a foam dart bouncing harmlessly off James's shoulder where he was peeking around the doorframe.

The little boy stepped into the open, pouting, lifted his own Nerf gun and bounced a dart off her hip. She let the corner of her mouth twitch up into a smile. "Good shot, squirt."

James grinned. Steve scrubbed a hand through his hair. "That is never going to not make me nervous…But really, I don't want a big party or anything."

"And you actually get your way this time." Tony strode into the room with his daughter on his hip. "We have a press conference on the fourth."

"We?" Steve had no idea where this was coming from.

"Yes, we. If you feel like blaming someone, Pepper is a good candidate." Tony set Ana on her feet. "Actually, Natasha, can I borrow you for a minute? I'm doing a thing with stuff, and you're good at stuff."

Natasha crossed her arms. "Why not ask Steve?"

"His hands are too big. I'd have one of the kids help but Steve might kill me."

Steve narrowed his eyes. "Does this have to do with the reactor?"

"No, no, circuit boards and stuff mostly. Technical stuff. Natasha, with me, please, thank you." Tony left the room, Natasha following with a shrug.

"Jarvis?" Steve scooped the twins into his arms. "What's Tony doing?"

"Working on one of his suits, sir."

"The new one," Ana chipped in. "I was with him."

James reached across his father's chest to shove his sister's shoulder. "We're not supposed to be in Papa's workshop."

"Papa was there so it's okay." Ana stuck her tongue out.

"Okay, okay." Steve held each of his children at arm's length, so they couldn't reach each other. "Ana, what were you doing in Papa's workshop?"

"Playing checkers with Dummy."

"And Papa knew you were there?"

She nodded.

"Okay, nothing wrong with that. But James, you're not wrong. Neither of you are allowed in Papa's workshop without him or me with you. Everybody clear?"

The twins nodded. "Yessir."

"Good."

James glanced at the floor. "Can we have lunch again?"

"Yeah." Steve chuckled. "We can do that."


End file.
